Vous l’aurez compris, Dehli, on a tellement adoré qu’après 3 nuits nous l’avons quittée ! Direction le Rajasthan, passage obligatoire en Inde du Nord.
Rendez vous dans une des nombreuses gares de Dehli vers 18h pour prendre notre train… (après, vous vous en souvenez, quelques difficultés pour acheter les billets !). Après une magnifique averse tropicale digne de ce nom (comprendre nous étions trempés jusqu’aux os !), nous arrivons sur le quai…
On s’y était préparé, on nous avait dit qu’un voyage en Inde sans un voyage en train était une grossière erreur, nous n’avons pas été déçus !
Arrivée sur le quai, c’est un lieu de vie à part entière, vous y croisez une foule encore plus nombreuse que dans Main Bazaar… (là où nous dormions à Delhi, pour les poissons rouges). Il est difficile d’imaginer le nombre de gens présents, assis, couchés, en train de manger, de dormir, de jouer aux cartes et je ne sais quoi d’autre… A vrai dire, on ne comprend toujours pas ce qu’ils faisaient tous là, on vous assure qu’ils ne sont pas tous montés dans le train !

Bref, il est temps de découvrir les joies du train en Inde… Et tant qu’à faire, autant le faire pour de vrai… Pour nous rendre à Udaipur, nous avions donc réservé la classe « sleeper », la dernière des dernières, qu’on peut assimiler non pas à la 1ère, non pas à la 2nde, non pas à la 3ème mais bien à la 4ème classe… On vous avait parlé de la 3ème classe dans le transsibérien, et bien c’est simple, on retire tout ce qu’on vous a dit, parce que sinon, nous n’aurons plus assez de vocabulaire pour parler de la 4ème classe indienne. Comparer les deux, viendrait à comparer le Ritz avec une auberge de jeunesse pouilleuse !
Et c’est parti pour 13h de train de nuit…

Avis aux lecteurs : L’histoire décrite ci-dessous n’est pas le fruit de l’imagination, mais s’inspire largement de faits réels répétés, les protagonistes de ce scenario ayant pu expérimenter le train durant 60h lors de leur voyage…
Toute ressemblance avec des personnages de la vie réelle est purement fortuite
L’environnement :
Nous sommes dans un wagon de 72 places, où les lits superposés sont maintenant à 3 étages, et bien sur, comme nous sommes un peu pingres sur les bords, nous n’avons pas dénié prendre la 3ème classe qui, elle, est climatisée ! Les 13 heures de voyage se feront donc, toutes fenêtres ouvertes (avec des barreaux) sous le ronron des ventilateurs poussiéreux du plafond !

Cerise sur le gâteau, nous sommes en bout de wagon, à côté des toilettes (si tant est qu’on puisse appeler cela des toilettes !) Odeurs et bruitages seront donc de la partie ! Génial…
Les acteurs :
- Nous : on se demande où on a atterri, on a peur pour nos sacs, ça pue, c’est étriqué, il fait chaud, on est assis les uns sur les autres, on se dit qu’on ne va pas dormir beaucoup cette nuit !
- Les passagers : nous découvrons nos compagnons de voyages, sur les 72 personnes composant le wagon (enfin, ça c’est ceux ayant un ticket, les autres, on ne les compte pas !), 71 sont des hommes ! Ahhh, merci Albane de représenter la gente féminine ! Et oui, les femmes ne voyagent pas de nuit et surtout pas en 4ème classe… (mais ça, on ne le savait pas, on comprend maintenant mieux la tête de l’agent qui nous a vendu les tickets quand on lui a dit qu’on prenait la 4ème classe)
- Les vendeurs ambulants : des gens essaient de vous vendre tout et n’importe quoi et font des aller-retours incessant dans l’allée centrale. Ils sont évidemment spécialisés, certains dans le thé, d’autres dans le café, les suivants dans la nourriture (que vous n’oseriez même pas approcher de votre bouche), les derniers dans les porte-clés décapsuleurs ou encore peluches et pistolets en plastique pour enfants… Un vrai supermarché ambulant ce train !
- Le travesti mendiant : rien à ajouter.
L’intrigue :
2 européens (dont une femme, Albane – important pour la suite, actrice principale) prennent pour la première fois le train en Inde. Que va-t-il se passer ?? Nan, nan rien de bien formidable, ne vous enflammez pas !
Albane devient la curiosité de tous les passagers, pour son plus grand bonheur, les yeux se posent, la caressent du regard, c’est génial, on adore, sa patience légendaire est mise à rude épreuve, ils finissent par comprendre, se détournent c’est fini, il est parti ! Et bien non, d’autres arrivent (un Indien peut en cacher un autre) et on recommence… et encore… et encore… Ben oui, à chaque arrêt y’a des nouveaux Indiens sans ticket qui montent pour redescendre 20 minutes après… et il y a beaucoupppp d’arrêts !
Vous aurez remarqué que le 2ème européen (Marc) n’intervient pas dans cette intrigue, lui s’étant endormi comme une masse pour se réveiller 30 minutes avant l’arrivée ! Merci Albane d’avoir surveillé les sacs !
Le dénouement :
Arrivée à Udaipur vers 7h30 du matin, en forme pour Marc, moins en forme pour Albane, mais entiers et avec nos sacs et prêts à découvrir ce nouvel endroit !
On ne peut que regretter l’absence d’une scène masturbatoire qui aurait mis un peu de piquant dans le récit…
Toujours prendre le couchette du haut en hard sleeper! Tjs plus safe et plus tranquille. Sac à dos en oreiller et Albane invisible!
Aucune suggestion pr les chiottes….
Chaaaiiiii coffee coffee tea chaiiiiiii coffee coffee
C’est clair que pour la condition féminine , ils sont dans le top ten……
Quelle expérience , on vous suit toujours avec intérêt
Bisous a vous deux
Coucou les baroudeurs,
C’est un vrai plaisir de suivre vos aventures. Le style rédactionnel est juste parfait.
A votre retour j’espère que vous avez l’attention d’écrire un livre parceque franchement je me régale de tous vos commentaires.
Je pense bien a vous
Bien affectueusement
Pierrette
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