Ou comment gérer une ferme en Nouvelle-Zélande !

Forts de notre expérience plus que concluante et armés de toutes les techniques agros Thaï, nous voilà repartis pour faire du woofing, cette fois-ci 2 semaines en Nouvelle-Zélande.

Une belle ferme quand même !
Une belle ferme quand même !

Nous voilà woofers de Judith, ancienne hôtesse de l’air qui a décidé de mener une vie de retraitée à la campagne. Nos pronostics sont lancés sur ‘à quoi ressemblera Judith’, blonde, canon et tout et tout. Mais dès le 1er contact nous oublions tous nos paris (que nous aurions en plus perdus…), Judith nous parle pendant 20min des woofers actuels et de leurs mauvaises capacités… Nous allons ensuite au supermarché pendant 58min pour acheter 6 produits…. Le décor est planté, ça sent l’efficacité !

 

Madame Judith, après que des millions de mots sont sortis de sa bouche sans que l’on comprenne vraiment le sens, nous emmène enfin à la ferme. Une grande ferme, plutôt remplie d’arbres et arbustes et quelques animaux ! Et surtout les fameux ‘mauvais’ woofers qui s’empressent de nous raconter à quel point Judith est infernale, à quel point elle parle pour tout et rien dire (ah, ben en 2 heures on s’en était déjà rendus compte), à quel point ils ne la voient jamais travailler et à quel point le travail est difficile. Le décor est replanté…

 

Armés de notre courage, nous nous jurons de faire la part des choses et de se dire qu’il y a du bon dans chacun d’eux ! Les jeunes woofers nous quittent dès le lendemain et la vie avec Judith commence, le travail à la ferme avec.

 

Allez, on élague !
Allez, on élague !

 

Nous voilà partis pour désherber… des champs de patates… des champs de fraise… des champs de citrouilles… Nous voilà partis pour élaguer 79 pommiers… Nous voilà partis tondre la pelouse… Mais tous nos efforts seront vite récompensés quand la cueillette des jolies framboises et fraises commencera ! C’est tellement gratifiant la cueillette, on est fier de soi :

  • « Eh regarde tout ce que j’ai ramassé, c’est trop bien Judith ! »
  • « Oui, pose ça dans le frigo et va désherber »
  • « Ah bon… »

 

Avant / Après : c'est bien, continue comme ça !
Avant / Après : c’est bien, continue comme ça !

 

Non, bon d’accord on exagère un peu. Notre petite Judith est quand même sympa, elle est juste débordée, désorganisée voire désemparée face à cette grande ferme qu’elle doit gérer sans savoir comment ! Elle a un bon fond Judith, elle veut bien faire ; elle nous demande toujours ce qu’on veut manger (souvent pour mieux qu’on lui cuisine un ‘bon petit plat français’ mais bon !), elle nous offre un logement au top (un studio rien que pour nous, sauf que la douche est dans le garage et les toilettes sèches alors qu’elle en a des classiques chez elle mais passons), elle s’intéresse à nous, nous accorde du temps et nous dit de nous reposer quand nous en avons besoin (merci !).

 

Mais pour contrecarrer son léger manque d’efficacité, Judith fait appel à tout un tas de woofer, une véritable mine de main-d’œuvre pas chère. Sauf qu’elle continue de crouler sous le travail et ne sait pas commencer et finir quelque chose sans en avoir commencé 20 000 à coté. Du coup, en bons consultants que nous sommes nous étions horrifiés ! Mais il lui faut une gestion de projet à cette bonne Judith, un peu d’optimisation de process et le tour est joué ! Nous voilà donc partis pour lui réaliser un joli tableur Excel avec toutes les tâches à faire, la fréquence, criticité et tout le tintouin ! Fiers comme des gardons, nous présentons notre beau travail à Judith qui a regardé le tableau … 1min30 et a réagi en… parlant du diner ! Mais toujours en bons consultants que nous sommes, on se dit qu’aucun travail n’est perdu et conservons le tableau pour les 10 jours où nous devrons gérer la ferme comme des grands alors que Judith sera en train de festoyer le père noël et le réveillon avec sa famille.

Tiens parlons-en des vacances de Judith. Avant de partir, nous avons revus ensemble les principales choses que nous aurions à faire pendant son absence. Prenons l’arrosage :

  • « Voilà, Marc et Albane, il faudra arroser les carottes
  • Très bien, quelle fréquence ?
  • Comme vous le sentez
  • Ah… et quelle durée ?
  • C’est vous qui voyez »

Impressionnés par les connaissances de Judith, on se dit qu’on aurait pu le prévoir étant donné son métier précédent !

Vous l’aurez compris, nous aimions beaucoup Judith, mais rien n’était bien clair et le désordre nous faisait perdre un temps fou dans nos travaux. Du coup, nous n’avions qu’une hâte… Enfin être tous les deux pour faire les choses à notre manière.

Et ce moment arriva (enfin…). Nous voilà le 23 décembre, Judith a son avion qui décolle dans l’après-midi ! Mais… en milieu de matinée elle nous annonce qu’elle ne va finalement pas partir ce jour, car elle a trop de choses à faire… Et m… ! Elle va finir par passer Noël avec nous ! Mais Judith est blagueuse et est finalement partie le lendemain, nous laissant seuls pour fêter Noël loin de tout et de tous.

Fallait bien boire un coup pour fêter ça !
Fallait bien boire un coup pour fêter ça !

La semaine passée en tant que fermiers à temps plein s’est très bien déroulée…

  • Nous voilà des vrais pros du bétail : nous devions bouger 22 vaches d’un enclos
    Allez les grosses, on se bouge !
    Allez les grosses, on se bouge !

    vers un autre en passant 4 portes ! Duuuur ! Petite appréhension quand on a vu le colosse de taureau qui trônait au milieu de ce troupeau de vaches. Mais armés de courage, de voix portante et de jambes qui courent vite, ce déménagement s’est fait sans aucun soucis… C’était presque pas drôle !

 

 

 

  • Forts du biberon donné au chevreau en Thaîlande, nous nourrissions Alfie, un petit veau tous les matins et tous les soirs ! Le voir accourir dès qu’on lui apportait son lait permettait à Albane de se lever du bon pied tous les matins (si, si, véridique !)

    Albane et ses copains
    Albane et ses copains

 

  • On est devenus des vrais petits gens d’intérieur ! Nous avions plus de 4 kg de framboises ramassées à la sueur de notre front qui allaient faire grise mine si on ne s’en occupait pas rapidement. Du coup, nous voilà en train de faire de la confiture de framboises au fin fond de la Nouvelle Zélande
Mmmh !
Mmmh !

 

  • On a couvert d’un filet ces mêmes framboises gorgées de soleil que les oiseaux grignottaient un peu plus chaque jour. Experts en pose de filet de framboises, nous sommes revenus sur les traces de nos travaux le lendemain pou trouver 28,4 oiseaux à l’intérieur du filer (le 0,4 c’est pour le tas de plumes qui restait du 29ème oiseau … R.I.P).

 

  • Et surtout et surtout… Marc a retrouvé ses origines de Jacky grâce au superbe Quad qui pouvait quand même pointer jusqu’à 30km/h !!
Sans titre.png-9
Le bolide !

Point extrêmement important à souligner : l’ensemble de ces travaux, s’ils ont été réalisés dans une ferme jouxtant une magnifique rivière, ils l’ont surtout été aux côtés des « Sandflies ». Retenez bien ce mot car nous y consacrerons un article spécial (Il est l’article !). Mais un peu de teasing quand même : ces bestioles raffolent de votre sang, insecte plus stupide qu’un moustique (oui oui c’est possible) mais beaucoup plus ravageur car les piqûres sont diaboliques (elles vous réveillent la nuit !)… Nous travaillions sous 35° en pantalon, chemise et … coiffés de jolis chapeaux assortis de filets pour nous couvrir le visage ! Et malgré ce, nous comptons à ce jour, 121 boutons répartis de la manière suivante :

Marc :

  • Main : 28
  • Pieds : 35

Albane

  • Main : 13 (chiffre porte bonheur !)
  • Pieds 43 (oui je sais, elle a des grands panards et c’est pour ça qu’elle en a autant, mais c’est aussi parce que Marc il a beaucoup de poils aux pattes !)

 

Les 2 semaines passées dans cette ferme, bien que parfois difficiles en terme de travail, sont passées à une vitesse folle et nous ne regrettons en rien cette bonne expérience. Nous avons malgré tout pu découvrir des choses intéressantes et avoir de beaux échanges avec la Judith. A voir si nous recommencerons l’expérience…

 

P.S – Petite note à nos parents : nous vous voyons déjà saliver en pensant à vos jardins et à tous les travaux identiques que nous pourrions y réaliser. Ce sera non… 🙂

 

Allez, à bientôt !
Allez, à bientôt !

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